My Immortal Parody
by Foosemittee
Summary: I wondered how easy it really was to create that infamous work of fiction, and so I decided to do it myself. If some people believe I'm as idiotic as my story suggests, this experiment might actually lend credence to the idea that M.I. is a troll fic.
1. Mah Introduction

Author's Note: This is not how I normally spell stuff; this is a story meant for comedy purposes only. It is a My Immortal Parody. I do not in any way want to shag any Harry Potter characters, nor am I goff. In fact, I'm not even steampunk, though I strongly admire the culture and am an avid Abney Park fan. This story was made into its present form through using search and replace to 'dumbify' the grammar/spelling. Hopefully u'll think this is funny—but if u don't, well fuk u prep!

A/N: Hi this is mi storri about whut wud happen if the peepl in Hary Pottr wer from all the diffrent stuff like goffic and steampunk and preps and stuff like that. Ples reiow, if u don't i'll bite ur face, and dont flam or I'll just flamme u bak becuz ur probaly a fukinng prep anyway. I absolutly love {insert band}. They r so awesome and sexaay.

My name is Jennifer Ashley Lauren D'anika Atwater-Rhodes La'Rue. I am 15 yrs old and i go 2 a school called Super Awsome Magic Poeple Acadumy. I have longgggg blond hair with pink and red and green and blue and purple streaks in it, but not yellow becuz mah hair is alredy gold and not orange becuz orange is the color of prison outfits that Casey Anthony shud ware.

Muh parents died when I wuz little and I wuz in the foster system and peopl bet me and stuff lyke that, so I'm verra derpressed. I'm a very upbete person and I looooove to dance and sing and do magic wich I'm the best at at my schul becuzz I'm just realy talnted lik that.

At my schooll, ther r a lot of clycks. Ther r: Preps (omygosh I ttlly thnk they suuuuck nao), Goffs (yay!), Stempunks (nerds lol), Cybergoffs, Hipsters (ew), Emos, and this other wierrd group of peepl called the Snuggies becuz they wer black snuggies backwrds and r realy lame and stuff.

I used 2 be a prep, but now I hang out with my frend Alicia Silveria Cybrelis Ch'ang in the goff group. She is Japanese and she is so kewl and kawaii.

So one day I got up from my blak ultraaa kawaii victrian blak bed and put on a ruffly black skirt and a blak tank top with red skuls on it. I put on a black long-sleaved shirt made of fishnets and a black hat that looked supr victorian-morning-widow-style. I walked outside and ther wuz this super hawt guy, but he wuz a snuggie so I just sort of ignred him.

"Sup," this hipster guy with blond har said, walking up 2 me. He wuz werring 3D glasses with the lenses pnched out, a Ravenna Woods tee, and grey skinny jeans with tattred thrift store converse on underneath fo them.

"Hi," I replied, trying not 2 think he wuz super hott vecaus hipsters r grosssss nd annoying.

"I'm Drake," he said, sticking out his hand. I shook it ad he wuz al kawaii nd stuff.

"Hi, I'm J. Ash," I replied.

"I c ur goffic," he comented, glancing at mi cloths.

"Ya, I'm pretty goffic," I answerd, twirling me skirt so it loked like a kewl circus tent only not lame. "I'm also the best at magic and I get into allllll the plays and I sing the best in the whole shool." He loocked really imperessed and I kind of thot he wuz turned on by mi awesomness, but then Alicia showd up nd I had to go.

Alicia wuz werring a black morning-style victrian dress and a pentagram necklace. she wuz wering bright red lipstick and a dark raccoon eyeliner. I wuz waring black lipstick and sparkly eyelyner with white blush becuz foyndation gives prple acne and is sooo uglyyyyy.

"Hey Jash," Alicia said, waving at me. "Do u want 2 go 2 class now?"

"Ya," I answerd. "Only I hope none of the Snuggies show up; they're sooooo stupid."

"Okay, kawaii," she said and we went on are way.


	2. Class nd Stuff

Author's note: Pie is nutritious. There. Proper spelling and grammar rules have been adhered to in at least one of the sentences in this story.

Okay so I was like walking into class wif alica when this boi wit blak hare waked up to be.

Hi Im Harry Potter", he said, "but most people call me Slash." I kind of liked the way he was dressed in a blac band t short w/ a band name on it that I cudnt read just then.

"Hi I'm J. Ash," I said for the 2nd time. "I like ur shirt wot does it say."

"It says Skillet," he said.

"Oh" I said "Ummmm bye." Skillet is the stupidest band fo allllllllll timeeeee. bcuz they r christianz nd thatz a stupid idea 4 a band n e wayz.

So we wnet to sit down at are seat isn the classroom and the guy called Drake walked inand sat down next to us.

"Ohai Draik," I said all flirty.

"Hey gurl," he said back. I blinded my eyelashes at him and he was all diggin' mah look and stuff when this stupiddddd girl came in and spilled stuff on mah skort.

"Dammit you fukin whore of satan bitchfuk deth destruction!" I yelled, standing up and there was lemonade all fallinoff of mah skirt.

"shut up bithc," the girl said "it was a accidett"

"fuck rite is was an accident," I replyed. "You did this on porpose o it wud look like I peed!" She seemed really stupid and she was dressed like a nerd only I knew she wasn't a hipster because she was too ugly.

"Hermoine Granger" said he teacher, "get out of my class if ur going to b spillin drinkz on mah student.s. So she went out ob da lass and drake was like

"sorry bout that babe she was just jelous of u" and I wass like

"its ok I know lots of peple r".

…


	3. lyke a bunc of confruntashons

Author's note: Don't flame, preps…or perps. (P.S.: If you are a perp, the police will find you. THERE IS ALWAYS EVIDENCE.) This is for Erika, the evil dictator of awesome, because she wanted another chapter. Pleeze reious.

Ok so i wuz ike walkting trhu the woods and therea was liekj this dude who was a steampunk and I was hanging out with Alicia.

"Hi" I said smiling prettily.

"Hey" he said in this ddeep foice "i'm Lewis Carol wut's ur name."

"she's j ash" alica said all flirtilike flutterin her eylashes. im alica her best frend.

"Nice" he said appercatevly.

Ikr? I replyd. then drake came and said

"hu r u nd whut r u doin w/ my girl? and I was really exited cuz he sid i waz his girl so I was lyek omg omg omg Alicia did u hear that? ya irk? she said haply.

we left dak beatin up that dude in the foerst and ewnt to hawt topic were my frend (my other best friend) Sabrina was. she haz blak haire thaz all crazy like withces hair and we're all ike dude jsta staraightend it and she's like it takes toomuhc time so we just go uh omg savringa stopjust stop. so annoying. so we went and bot clothes for going to see braking don wiv hour freids and then some chrisitan kids came so we fellt all gangy.

'wo who ru?" i axked them. "nice face ugly bitch' they said.

theyn ahd blond ahir and blue eyes like natseys. i had but on new makeup what was this stuff wer u tqe a butcket of wite paint and spleak it o n ru face like a gaysha frum japan and I was feelin rlilly slef conshus so I just sorta looked away all sad.

don't tal"k to her like that Sabrina said" she's my friend"

"whe cn do whatever we want they said we're crhistina." fuk u alica said and threwd the white paint gaysha makeup on them!

THEY Said our uniformz!

RUN we showted and we ran all the way bak 2 hogwats.


End file.
